Top Al getting promoted (US Navy Photo), Fran, Stephi & David (picture taken by Al), bottom picture Stephi, Al, Fran & Davie (Picture taken by Fran's brother John)

Waking Up & Praying Wrong By: Frances M. McCrory-Meservy April 1971

Al was transferred to Quonset Point, R. I. in October 1970. We had 30 days together before he had to go. He went through Michigan and saw his Dad for the first time since he was four years old.

Al finally found a trailer space just after Christmas. Actually, we had to wait for the Navy to build the trailer park because housing was so crowded up there.

We got to Rhode Island the first of January 1971 and had to wait two weeks for our Mobile Home because it was snowed-in in Tennessee. We stayed in Navy Guest Housing.

I had only been there for one week and I knew why the pilgrims died. Rhode Island has a humid cold that goes to the bone and the wind blows hard (20-60 knots) all the time.

There was no Baptist church close enough for me to go to so when I went (not very often), it was to the Navy chapel.

Things were good for a while after Al came home; but, I was still in the depression and unable to function properly. Shortly after he came home, I found a doctor who knew what was wrong with me and put me on medication.

Three months after treatment started, the depression lifted. It felt like I was a new creation: the world seemed new and beautiful. I was hearing, seeing and feeling everything for the first time in years. Feeling I could handle or do anything, I became like a superwoman: the extreme opposite of the past five years.

Even though I kept the house clean, served meals on time, and had the children and myself presentable when Al came home, his temper flared for no apparent reason.

He seemed either stuck in the angry mode or unable to shake his hurt feelings; or, he felt like I should be punished for being ill (something I had no control over).

Remembering that Jesus said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." helped me forgive Al and stay with him. Obviously, non-Christians didn't know what they were doing: this was my way of protecting myself from the pain and anger I would have felt with any other attitude.

Instead of being happy, he accused me of being a woman's libber because I was so efficient at home, helped other people and worked a part time job. The nature of Navy life had taught me to be independent and he did not like it.

Walking on eggs trying to do or say whatever was necessary to prevent a flair-up of his temper did no good. I couldn't talk to him about anything: he took everything wrong. Christians and non-Christians donít speak the same language.

When we went out, he would belittle me in public; then, wonder why I didn't care to go out with him. I wanted to be protected in every way.

I felt neglected because Al always came first. What he wanted was more important than anything else in the world. He acted as though he was the only one who needed or felt anything. We always did what he wanted.

Divorcing Al was out of the question because he had never committed adultery. He was of such high moral character: he never would. I felt helpless in hopeless circumstances. God did not seem to hear me anymore.

Knowing God is the only person who can change a person, I started praying for God to save Al so he would be easier to live with. Later I would learn that this was the wrong reason to pray for someoneís salvation.

I heard a sermon on tithing and wondered if I should tithe. God showed me that He did not want our money. He wanted my time. So I continued to give of myself.

Al never understood why I helped people. He would ask me, "Why do you help those people when you know they will never turn a hand to help you?" I always answered, "If I help them, when I needed help, God would see that I get it." He never ordered me to stop helping people; but I could tell he resented it.

He was extremely jealous even though I did nothing to cause it.  If some guy spoke to me, he would get angry with me.  I have no control over other people.  He was being unrealistic.

In spite of all the extra jobs Al had, we still had not recovered from the TDY orders to Denver. My Mom explained to me that maybe Al was upset because I put a huge burden on him by not agreeing to file bankruptcy.

When the Navy transferred us less than 50 miles away (there was a $1.00 per trip each way toll bridge between us and Al's new duty station) and we had to foot the bill, our financial situation became worse. I agreed to file bankruptcy. We lost our house and car. But, Al was no longer hard to live with. He was now more like the man I married. Our marriage was worth more than things.

2 Cor 6:14-15 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

Luke 23:33-34 And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots.

1 Tim 2:1, 3, 4 Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

2 Cor 9:6-7 But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

Mat 6:19-20 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. "For where your treasure is there you heart will be also.

Unequally Yoked

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