Background is our grandson Christopher Wichita KS 1993

How to tell if you're still angry and how to forgive if you still are. by Fran Meservy @ 1992

Sometimes we think we have forgiven people simply because we know we should forgive them and say the words.

If you go to tell about an incident that happened to upset you or make you angry and your feelings come flooding out with your words, you have not forgiven that person.

If you can relate circumstances and you do not get emotional while telling it, you have forgiven that person.

Our Lord has established a way for us to love people in spite of what people do or say that may hurt us.

First - we must remember that Jesus forgave us while we were yet in our sins. In turn, we must forgive others for the pain they have caused us.

We are in pain because of what someone did and we are in even more pain because we have not forgiven then. If retained, that anger/pain can lead to depression.

As Christians, the Holy Spirit seals himself to our spirits. When we retain anger and bitterness, we grieve the Holy Spirit and grief to Him is painful. Since we are sealed to Him, we in turn feel the same pain He feels.

Take a metal pot and seal (wield) a metal handle on it. Now, fill it with hot water and turn the fire on under it to keep it hot. The pot is hot because it is on the fire. Would we reach out and grab the handle? Even though the handle is not on the fire, it is hot because it is sealed to the pot. The pot is our spirit, the liquid is our anger, the fire is our bitterness and the handle is the Holy Spirit that is sealed to our spirit.

Sometimes the pain is so bad we find it hard to forgive, But, God has made a way. There is a hidden promise in Ephesians 4:30-32 “Let all anger .. be put away from you.” This infers that if you are willing to give it up, God will remove it from you. Jesus can and will remove the anger and bitterness if you allow Him. I know this is true because Jesus removed it from me: He loved and forgave my husband through me.

Al was a baby Christian and full of Joy in the Lord. I was hurting and became very angry. "How dare he be happy when he had caused so much pain in my life." I ranted and raved and everyone stayed out of my way.

Jesus said, "Forgive him." My response was, "NO! He hurt me and I can't forgive him."

Again, Jesus said, "Forgive him." "No," I responded, "I have every reason to be angry."

"Forgive him," Jesus said for the third time. "No." I reasoned. "I have a right to be angry and I want to be angry."

Jesus declared, "This is what it feels like to be unforgiven."

Suddenly, it felt as though I had fallen into a dark pit of loneliness, surrounded by fear, hate and anger: the pain was excruciating. I cried, screamed and yelled for three days. I could not eat, sleep or drink.

On the third day, I fell to my knees beside our bed in tears and begged God to forgive me. I asked him to love and forgive Al through me because the pain is too great to do it on my own. In an instant all the loneliness, pain, fear, hate and anger left me and I felt love and forgiveness flow through me. I, now, loved my husband more than I thought was possible.

When we allow Jesus to remove the anger and bitterness, the Holy Spirit is no longer grieved and our pain disappears.

Now it is easy for God to love and forgive through us. You see, when the Holy Spirit is no longer grieved, He can manifest His love and forgiveness in us. That same love and forgiveness can then flow through us to others.

When we repent of our wrong attitudes and sins, God is faithful to forgive us. Now we need to go forward in love.

When a person does something or says something that hurts us, we should focus on Jesus and let Him remove the pain. This should be a continuing process we use with everyone for the rest of our lives. God is faithful and he will do it.

Eph 4:30-5:2 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

Luke 23:34 Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots.

Mat 6:12, 14-15 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.... "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mat 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Luke 17:3-4 "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. "And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him."

Mark 11:25-26
"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."

Luke 6:37-38 "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. " Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."

2 Cor 2:6-8 This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.