BETRAYED By: Frances M. McCrory-Meservy Summer of 1948, Summer of 1949, Summer of 1950
Dad's baby sister was a retired schoolteacher and her husband was retired from the Post Office. My aunt had a bad heart and they lived on a strict schedule. They had a housekeeper and cook. Everyone got up at 5:30 am, breakfast was served promptly at 6 am, lunch at noon, dinner at 5 PM and bedtime was at 9 PM.
They lived in a nice house with a big front porch. There was a swing on the porch and huge hydrangeas around the porch. They had huge trees all around the house and bee hives in the back yard.
When we went to visit each summer, we were required to wear our best clothes and be on our best behavior.
My uncle taught us how to collect honey, liked to kid around with us kids and he was my favorite uncle. Aunt Lula was a sweet woman. She had a heart condition and my Uncle did not allow her to do much.
During a visit in 1948, when I was 5, my uncle asked if I wanted to see the airport. Of course I thought that was great. It turned out to be a deserted airport and he sexually molested me in the back seat of the car.
While he was on top of me, I felt like I was going to smother. He was heavy and it was hard to breath. I felt confused and that he had done something horribly wrong.
Somehow (I assume Jesus revealed it to me), I knew it was not my fault. I also knew if I told, I would never see him again. I decided I would never be alone with him again.
After that, I was afraid of being alone with a man, felt like I was going to suffocate if I sat in the middle of the car seat or slept in the middle of the bed between two of my girl cousins. I had a hard time going to sleep if the covers were too high up and covered any part of my head. That made me feel like I was going to smother.
During a visit in 1949, Mom and Dad left me with my uncle while they went to do something. There was a young boy there and I figured that since I was not alone with him, it was safe. I was wrong. He took us in the guest bedroom, closed the door and molested both of us. The boy was age 5 and I was age 6.
After that, I could not sleep with the door closed. In fact I did not like closed doors. I didnít have true claustrophobia. Itís more like a dislike Ė I didnít panic or get nervous. I have more energy during the day if the main doors to the house are open. The storm door can be closed and locked; so it seems to me that just seeing out keeps me feeling safe and energized.
During the summer of 1950, when I was 7, my aunt was in the hospital in Pensacola, Fla. We made our annual visit at that time.
Mom and Dad wanted to visit my aunt. Since children weren't allowed in the hospital back then, I would have to sit in the car.
When we got to the hospital, my uncle decided to sit in the car with me. I figured that would work because it was a public place. I had no idea it would get dark soon. He molested me again.
I started gagging and felt like I was going to throw up. He took me across the street and gave me a glass of orange juice. As much as I loved orange juice, I could not drink it again without triggering the memory and gagging.
God helped me to forgive him and I never stopped loving him; but I made sure I was only with my uncle if my Mom was there also. When Mom and Dad said I would have to stay with my uncle, I would cry and beg them to not leave me with him (something I never did).
Thank God I had a Mom who was smart enough to realize something was wrong by my acting out of character. My Uncle never had the opportunity to be along with me again. Mom would leave me with one of my Aunts instead.
I never told anyone what happened until I was 21. I told my husband right after we got married because I found out I had some sexual hang-ups. Over the years I have overcome them with God's help and a very patient, loving husband.
I told my Mom when I was 23 on the way to my uncle's funeral. She said I was right. I would have never seen my uncle again because my Dad would have killed him.
I realized after I was grown that such things should be reported. But a child only knows what their heart tells them. They don't know they aren't the only one who might be hurt.
I had been outgoing - I became shy.
I loved going places with men or women - now I only went with women.
I was carefree - now I was careful.
I loved orange juice - now I could not drink it.
I loved to snuggle - now I felt like I was smothering when held too long.
Now I could not stand to be behind a closed door.
I got nervous when someone stood over me.
I was afraid of losing control. I learned to maintain extreme self-control.
I have found that some women become promiscuous and others can't stand to be touched. I had promiscuous thoughts that plagued me until God set me free.
I would wake up at night feeling like I was smothering and be afraid to go back to sleep. I got to where I did not want to go to bed and when I did, I had a hard time going to sleep. I don't recall any dreams.
It is different with each person. Women who are molested have a lot of problems and deal with them in different ways. I forgave my Uncle and that helped make it easier for me.
I was not completely free until Jesus led me to Hosea when I was 35 years old. God's word set me free. My Lord showed me that he did not hold women accountable for sexual immorality because the men taught them how. I could finally drink orange juice, snuggle, close the doors, I can go to bed and straight to sleep now, I no longer have shy moments and do not fear losing control because the promiscuous thoughts stopped.
I have asked pastors why they donít teach Hosea. They all said they were afraid if they did, that women would become more promiscuous. But God said the truth would set you free and it did me. It would also make men realize what they are held accountable for. I believe there would be less promiscuity if the truth were taught.
I also realized that even though I thought I was not guilty, I evidently subconsciously believed I was guilty of some type of behavior that caused it. God showed me that was not true in Hosea.
John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Hosea 4:14 "I will not punish your daughters when they turn to prostitution, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, because the men themselves consort with harlots and sacrifice with shrine prostitutes-- a people without understanding will come to ruin!
John 8:3-11 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say? They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them,"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you,"
Background picture of Fran age 7/1951 school picture (1st grade)
I've Seen & Heard of Jesus by Frances M. McCrory-Meservy
Getting to Know Jesus (Chapter I)